Tips For Parents

Don’t Ask your Student If They’re Homesick

The first few weeks of school are activity packed, and the challenge of establishing friends and adjusting to new situations take the majority of a freshman’s time and effort.  Students are normally able to escape feelings of homesickness because they are so busy.  Don’t worry, even if they don’t say it, they do miss you. 

Write to your student even if they do not write back

Even though freshmen are seeking to become more independent they still are eager for family ties.  This surge of independence may come off as rejection, but I guarantee that most freshmen would love for some news of home and family, however mundane it may seems to you. 

Ask Questions (But not Too Many)

Freshmen are “cool” and tend to resent any interference with their new lifestyle.  Most still desire the security of knowing their family still takes interest in them. 

Expect Change

Your son or daughter will change (either drastically within the first few months, slowly over the years or somewhere in between).  It’s natural and inevitable.  It can be inspiring.  Often, it’s a pain in the neck.  Remember that your student will be the same person you sent away to school, aside from some interest changes and personality revisions.  Be patient!

Try Not to Worry (Too Much) About Depressing Phone Calls or Letters

Parenting can be a difficult and thankless job.  This is especially the case during college years.  Often when trouble becomes to much to handle, the only place to turn, write, or dial is home.  Be Patient with the nothing-is-going-right-I-hate-this-place phone calls, emails, or letters.  You are providing a real service as an advice dispenser, sympathetic ear, or punching bag.

Visit (But not Too Often)

Visits by parents are another part of the freshmen experience.  Pretended disdain of those visits is a normal part of the first-year syndrome.  These visits give a chance for students to introduce some of the important people in their life to each other (home and school).  But remember; spur of the moment “surprises” are usually not appreciated. 

Don’t Tell Them That “These Are the Best Years of Their Lives”

Freshmen year can be full of indecisions, insecurity, disappointments, and mistakes.  It is also full of personal discovery, good times and great people.  Parents who perpetuate the “best years” stereotypes are working against their students already difficult transition.  Parents who accept the good along with the bad times are providing much needed support and encouragement. 

Trust Them!

“I love you and want for you all the things that make you the happiest, and I guess you, not I, are the one who knows best what those things are.”  This was a quote from a mother to her son who was a senior in college.  If you’re smart you’ll believe it, mean it, and say it now.  Trust that you have done your job as a parent and done it well.